Tuesday, June 7, 2016

she didn't make the team | real life

It happened.

She didn't make the team.

As a parent, this happens all the time.  But this is my first time. She is five years old and didn't make the competitive gymnastics team. So let's be real here - she doesn't even know what's going on.  She just shows up to the gym a couple times a week and gets to work. She has no idea she's currently in an advanced program.

But when I got that email, it was a surprise. Now, I am not blind. I can tell that she may need work on her core, where as the next gymnast might need work on her flexibility and another on cartwheels.  Her report card gave no real indication either. Regardless, of the reason why, it was a disappointment.

It might be useful to point out that I've coached for many years of my life and have had to cut hundreds of kids.  Now I am on the other side. Ouch.  I am surprised by how much it hurt.  Almost like, I didn't make a team.

I'd like to know exactly why I feel that I have let my daughter down?

You heard me right.  I let her down.

It might be a Mom guilt thing. Logically, I know that I sincerely didn't let her down.

But my brain immediately went to all the times I never took her for a jog.  All the vacations when we didn't do her stretching.  All the times when I fed her McDonalds or a frozen pizza instead of lean chicken breast and vegetables.  I immediately wondered about whether I should have emailed when I was disappointed in the coaching or if I pushed her too hard.  Clearly, this was my fault.

No. No. Miss Lady.  No you don't.  Don't go there.

But. Just for one moment. Think about why is it that many Mom's and parents feel exactly the way that I do.

Is it related to the fact that I already feel that my child is behind because she doesn't know how to skate or ride a bike with her trainers off or tie her shoes?

Were Moms feeling this way 20 or 30 years ago?  Has society changed us?

All I can tell you is this - Yes. I do feel this way. For now.  But I can assure you when I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll be focused on the important things like drinking coffee... I mean that.  In a sense at least. I'll be focused on watching my daughter to make sure she's happy.  She won't be happy if I serve her coffee... but every time I try, her brother gets into fits of laughter, which causes a chain reaction. That's happiness. Coffee and belly laughs.

Tomorrow, I'll remember that it's not my fault.  And in a week's time, I'll be so excited that I don't have to fight with my daughter on a sunny Sunday to get dressed for gymnastics.

We will see you again in September stinky gym but in the recreational program.

Update to this post: // A couple days later a spot opened in the competitive program and as such Little Miss was offered this spot.  She has taken the spot and will be re-assessed in September. I suppose all you can say here is, you simply never know so don't count your chickens before they are hatched.  And also, be kind. Kindness matters.



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